Are we using our children to make us happy and comfortable?

If parents depend on children for happiness, not safe for your kids. It is a huge burden on children to be responsible for their mother's loneliness and a sense of purpose. Children who feel this responsibility often become caretakers, giving themselves up to take care of a parent. On the other hand, a child burdened with this responsibility may rebel and distance from the parent, spending less and less time at home to avoid the burden of the parent's emptiness.

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In addition to the above, the children will start to feel angry towards the parent, in the event if the child has to support one parent, for example, the dad, as the mom could not cope looking after her partner. As a result, the child will start to become frustrated towards the mother who didn't take any support from the child. The particular child will start to think; it is not my responsibility to look after my dad, that should be my mom's responsibility. Therefore, instead of depending any help from the children, the parents will be better off getting the help from the government.

Also, if a parent becomes lonely, you should always look for other ways of making yourself occupied and happy. You can do things that you love to do, join friends of your age group and get into spiritual practice.

As a parent, you have to remind yourself that your child has her own life and you are there to support it and not to ruin it. Some parents make serious mistakes in their life, like becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol ends up with serious diseases, for example, may be a dad had done that and at the end becomes a burden to the mother of the family. If they have children, one of them might be very close to the parents and will take the responsibility of looking after the dad because the child loved the parents. The child would have been young and might be studying it would have appeared too simple to offer the help when all that trauma started at home. If that particular dad lives for a long time, that child will continue to provide the service, and then the frustration will begin to overtake everything.

If after a while the child decides to get married, do you think that the new partner will welcome the child's response to the parents? I will say no in most cases, but there might be exceptional circumstances. Otherwise the new marriage could face problems, and in turn, it will affect everyone. Therefore, as a parent when living their life, they need to take care of themselves and avoid becoming emotionally, physically and financially dependent on the kids. We all are aware that we will become old and prepare ourselves to face that period of aging, from the young age. I am not saying that every situation is avoidable even if we are careful there could be certain situations will also arise. If that is the issue, we should have the courage to face the immediate setbacks and continue to live without depending on our kids. Of course, our children will have to give us support in our old age, but that said as parents we should know to keep our boundaries as well.

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Some young parents, choose to have kids to get some benefits and then abandoned new born babies just, for reasons, like too much work, financial issues and lack of freedom for their enjoyment. Then they feel that they have got what they wanted and now there is no reason to care for the baby. If that is the case, they have used their baby for their happiness, and the kids suffer at a very young age.

We have to accept that our priority is to leave our children to live their life with happiness and a peaceful life, in this day and we are all busy all the time, and the best solution is to look after ourselves and keep us happy.