How Child Victims become Survivors?
The children are so innocent; as such, they get abused by their family members, friends, or even the school teachers. There are standard two types of damage; the children get beaten up, or they get abused sexually. I am going to explain the two below separately
How people use child's innocence to Abuse.
The innocence of a child, will not allow their mind to understand what terror put upon them during the abuse. It worsens when the child knows the abuser because they have a love and trust that is so innocent, they cannot mistrust. It is where the confusion is set deep into their psyche, causing them to have conflicts with feelings throughout their life. In place of learning love through hugs and smiles, they are taught love through sexual abuse and threats. They have already learned that the world is not safe. Children quickly learn through instinct to remove their minds from their bodies. They also can manipulate their bodies to go numb to not feel any physical contact with the abuser. Abused children are also taught to mistrust any form of verbal love and appreciation.
The abuser will tell them things like, "Daddy loves you and wants to show you how much," or" I am teaching you what fathers teach their daughters so that you will grow up and know how to be a real woman."
So much deception and lies from someone that a child holds dear to their heart. To doubt their abuser when it is their father, only makes them feel like a bad child. They know that their father wants them to love them and smile for them. It makes daddy happy. It is what every child is naturally driven to do. They thrive on their parent's smiles and happy feelings. It is the exact thing that an abuser takes advantage of and also poisons through the abuse they inflict on the child. This type of injury happens when the kids are not living with their mother. That is a single dad.
Do Not forget to notice abused child's actions.
The child will also think in two identities if the abuser is her father or her uncle. She will think simply in two parts. Okay daddy, sorry daddy. It helps her to keep her good daddy image safe, where he is supposed to be. The second daddy will be a figure in a bad dream, not real to her world at all. A child may turn to drawing pictures of her good daddy and bad daddy. Or write very dark, cynical, even offensive poems or stories. These are real signs and most certainly cries for help. Please do not ever underestimate the power of the pen. It will either be a cry for help from someone that cannot use words, or it could be the key to one's doors of healing.
When the abuser is a family member, this factor alone robs the child of what would be known as a safe nest. The child will never know what a healthy role model is. Nor will this child ever have the experience of innocent nurturing. Unless this child through years of growth, learns to identify with their abuser and confront the abuse, their healing will never begin. Without this inner healing and peace, one is likely to repeat this horrible act of violence that they were lead to believe to be a common practice in parenting.
Other victims choose to forget it ever happened, downplay the abuse or rationalize it as if it were nothing more than a simple hug or touch. They even go as far as excusing their abuser's actions or temper, saying he was drunk or too stressed out from working. Victims will even try to understand and feel sorrow for their abusers. Anything to not accuse them and have to deal with the confusion of the why's. Some even become so withdrawn into themselves, fearing that they may talk too much, or give a clue to someone about their nightmare. Then all their shame will be seen. So they choose silence instead of risk.
Denial is another way around facing the reality. But denial has a way of twisting around and returning with a vengeance. To not allow your pain to come up front so you can deal with it, only gives it more time to grow inside of you and get a stronger hold of your mind. Reality and fantasy will also get confused at this point. People will confuse your actions and words with mental illness. Then not only will you have your abuser to contend with, but now others will be trying to force you into another victim situation. Yes, you have done whatever it took to survive this horrible abuse, so now rise above it. It was nothing more than a cause and effect battle. A fight that you have overcome!
Do not deny or forget, take action
I continue to show you patterns that are caused by neglecting yourself and allowing yourself to get totally absorbed by an action that was NEVER in your control. Now it is in your control. Now you can do something about it. SO, what are you waiting? FIGHT!!!! Fight like you is trying to save the life of someone dear to you. Fight like a master and use your power to say, "Go to hell." Scream this as loud as you can, "I see you, I hear you, and I will not allow you to abuse me any longer!" You must feel the freedom that comes with this new fight that is awakening inside you. Once the fight is over, you will live a new life. A new book has just written.
A majority of parents beat their children. Many school teachers punish children to correct them. They do it to teach them properly and make them good citizens of this world. How many of these parents and educators themselves are good citizens of this world? How many of them themselves know what is right and what is wrong? How many have a knowledge of the happy existence and how many have the right to beat a child?
No one. No one has any right to beat a child. They hit the child because the child does not retaliate. The child is helpless. The child is at their mercy. The parents and teachers take advantage of this and sadistically take out their frustrations on the children. What if they try doing this to someone of their age and strength? They will get it back. That is why they don't do that. They look for dependent children, find faults and beat. It is inhuman.
In any civilized society, such practices should be punishable. A child is like a flower. The child needs love, care, and proper guidance. No beating and no harsh words. A child does not come into the world to learn things, solve sums and become a scientist overnight. A child comes to this world to make this world a better place with its innocence and curiosity.
Why not beat everyone on the earth, which needs correction? And who does not need correction? Ask any boss, and according to them, all the assistants need some correction. Ask any married person and they will tell you thousand deficiencies of their partner. Ask a leader and they will tell you how all the opposition leaders are bankrupt in their thinking. And find out about the Presidents and Prime Ministers from the opposition leaders and you will get an earful.
The whole world needs correction. Next time, before a child got beaten, let us line up all the citizens of this world and correct all of them. Who will do that? No one is left out. Better stop touching a child. That should be the message to all the parents and teachers. Let this practice stay forever in all the countries.